What Happened?

What Happened?

Peering out through the open door, he sat patiently in his hospital room, waiting for his parents' arrival. He had no idea how long he had been there but knew something was wrong. He longed for his mother's gentle caress and his father's comfort and strength. He was just six years old and had no idea what was happening. Day after day, he lay there as he was treated for his injuries, waiting to see his parents and his little brother. But to his dismay, this day never came. The doctors feared he would lose his will to live, and with his injuries being so severe, they decided to wait. And then, finally, the day came. With his grandmother by his side, they shared the news. Billy, you were in an accident with your family. The car you were all driving in together was struck by a train. I am deeply saddened to tell you that no one survived except you.

Can you imagine his devastation and how this experience shaped his life?

This was my father.

We have all been through tribulations in life and have experienced different degrees of anxiety, depression, or trauma. These may have come from significant life events, global conditions, or minor instances that seemed meaningless yet compiled daily.  

Or they may have been passed down through our family heritage.  

Regardless, these stressors have impacted how we function.

As a young adult, I began noticing that the friends and families I thought were perfect, including mine, were not.

It would be easy to think what’s wrong with them and cast judgment.

But a better question may be, what happened to them?

 By reframing the question, you become more compassionate and understanding.

We all experience suffering as we move through life.    

While there are many ways to cope, here are some simple things to help others and ourselves through difficult times.

How to Help Another

You can begin with a compassionate heart. 

Let go of judging and being quick to criticize.

Give your undivided attention.

You may be the person who says the one thing that alters their path.

Practice inclusivity. When you include others, you allow them to shine.

Be trustworthy, as this creates a space in which people feel safe.

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How to Help Ourselves

Begin with self-compassion.

Understand you are not alone.

Surround yourself with a positive social network. 

Having support can be very emotionally stabilizing.

Give back to others.

People with first-hand experience are often very good at helping others because they can relate. When you authentically lend a helping hand, you will also aid in your healing and happiness.

And again, ask yourself a better question

What happened to me, rather than what is wrong with me?

This can reframe your mindset from one of self-criticism to one of self-love. 

As I understood what my father went through, I had compassion for him.

This understanding helped me understand myself better, too.

I opened my heart and opened my mind.

And in this space, we all begin to heal.

My best wishes for your health and well-being.

Yvette