The ART Of Friendship
While whitewater rafting down a river in the Smokey Mountains, I was in awe of the beauty of nature around me. The tall trees in the thick of this temperate rainforest were luscious shades of green. Several had already begun changing colors for fall. A mist of rain drizzled among us as we made our way through the cool, crisp rapids. Our tour guide was a natural comedian, telling us jokes about our excursion.
He was brilliantly entertaining.
It was an exhilarating adventure on the final day of our trip.
Five days earlier, I landed in North Carolina and met a long-time friend who had flown in from South Dakota. Many years had passed since we last spoke; however, a month earlier, I thought of her and our friendship, so I reached out to say hello. Coincidentally, she was on her way back to my town with her brother for a visit.
What are the odds of that after so many years?
It was great reconnecting as if we had never skipped a beat.
This got me thinking about the bond of friends in my life and the epidemic of loneliness we face in our world. Loneliness has steadily increased, especially with the rapid pace of technology and the number of people working from home; however, this problem is not new to society. Loneliness can leave one feeling deeply depressed. Even people surrounded by many can feel this pain as a connection goes deeper than having others around.
In my life, I have found that there is an art to friendships, not only with others but with myself.
There are ways to connect authentically and establish meaningful, intimate relationships that joyfully fill our hearts.
And as art is a form of expression derived from within, the more you practice, the better you get.
Friendship takes effort.
Authentically Caring For Others
I am sure we have all heard the saying, “I went out to find a friend, and none could be found. I went out to be a friend, and friends were all around.” In my circle of friends, I make a point of supporting and building others up. I want to help empower their very best qualities. Usually, when someone meets me for the first time, I can sense they may question my sincerity, as many of us have been hurt at some point along the way, But what they see is what they get, and as time goes by, my support doesn’t waiver. I want to offer a friendship where someone can feel safe and that there is trust. Relationships can strengthen when we step outside ourselves and selflessly give to others without expecting something in return.
This can lead to lifelong bonds as there is no agenda, just friendship.
Intimacy
Intimacy is often only thought of as two people sharing a romantic relationship. While there is a difference, it can also pertain to friends. When you are intimate with another, it can feel a bit scary at first, as we never want to feel judged or rejected, but when we drop our walls and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, there is a deep connection from one heart to another. In these friendships, we show up with flaws and all. We can act ridiculously silly, and it's perfectly ok. These friends are often considered far and few, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be this way. You may be surprised by how many other friends you have who also seek and cherish this closeness when given the chance.
Understanding And Forgiveness
We all make mistakes. We may have days when we are stressed and challenging to be around. We may say something hurtful at the moment that we regret later. While having healthy boundaries in relationships is essential, understanding and forgiveness are crucial. With just about every close friend I have, there have been times of difficulty. We may have taken a step back when needed.
As I have gotten older, I often see the opportunities within these moments. I know from experience that when I have worked through tough times with others, we have become stronger for it. We all need compassion, as it’s part of life to have ups and downs.
It Begins From Within
Of the topics listed above, this is the most vital. While you can have many people around you and still be lonely, you can have few and be very content. Being my own best friend is the core of my healthy relationships. The better I care for myself and lean within, the happier I am. I practice self-care, invest in my mindset, and enjoy fun activities. I let go of negative self-judgment and forgive myself when I make mistakes. And I do my all to bring forth my best qualities.
Knowing I can count on myself Is a great way to go about life and be happy.
Through all of this, I enjoy my own company.
Regarding friendships, you can only offer others what you offer yourself.
The more you love yourself, the more love you have for others.
As many forms of art bring joy into our lives, so is that of the art of friendships.
My best to you and all the friends you may have in your life.
Yvette
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